A few days ago I didn’t now what to do. What to dive into with heart and soul next year (studies). I’ve tried many things; art school was too expensive, open university too fast-paced and other topics I first was obsessed with was no longer interesting anymore. I started to think I was burned out and depressed, because I lost interest in nearly everything.
It was partially true. It was C-PTSD or Complex Post-traumatic Stress Disorder. It can act a lot like the regular burnout but with a few other symtoms as well like poor sleep, fatigue, memory issues, flashbacks and intrusive thoughts etc. And everything gets slower. Every task take a huge amount of time and effort even if it’s “just something small”… Depression is also something that goes hand-in-hand with C-PTSD.
My latest biggest trauma happened 2020. It was almost 5 years ago and I have had very little help for it. That’s why it still haunts me so much! I also think that my confusion and changing of mind lately is yet another trauma symptom, to be honest. Because clutter and being disorganised – even in the mind – is a trauma response…
So I have decided to do what I feel like doing this year. If I want to read about metaphysics, then that will be it, if I want to deep dive into the Bible then I go ahead and do that. Everything cannot be planned, and especially not when you’re neurodivergent and have trauma as well. I am a planner girl, but in this case I have to take it as it comes.
The last days I have been following a Bible reading plan on the YouVersion Bible app. It’s the New Testament in a year. I think that’s good because reading the entire Bible in just one year is a little bit too heavy for me. So I will read just the New Testament in a year instead, and take the Old Testament next year. And so far this has lasted. It feels like one thing I always come back to is Biblical studies and even metaphysics and general religious studies. It’s also the only thing that brings me comfort and not feels too overwhelming.
So maybe God gave me an answer.
The more I read the Bible, the more I want a community of other progressive Christians. I’m so tired of strict right-wing fundamentalist Christians… So I started FullnessInFaith.com! Because if there aren’t enough communities already made, then we need to create more. I also think there’s more progressive Christians than we realize but they have nowhere to go. I want to be a resource for them:
I’m also working on a podcast for Fullness in Faith. It’s going to be like a micro podcast with bite-sized thoughts and discussions in under 10 minutes. I have already so many ideas for episodes!
I will notify you when the podcast is here, it will appear on this link later: https://trixjoyce.substack.com/s/fullness-in-faith
I will also continue with my regular podcast “Late to Bloom” that is about personal growth.
So this year will be spent on these things. Philosophical and Biblical studies and content creation that is both faith based, creative and informative in other ways as well.
xx
Trix.
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